College Student

Change: "the act or instance of making or becoming different." Growing up and starting college is full of changes. I don't know if I was completely ready for this huge shift in my life. Change is hard for me. Becoming different is not something I am used to. Attending college has really made me focus on who I am and what I am becoming. It is changing me. College is helping me become a better and stronger person but I didn't see that when I first got here. Let me tell you my story.
       August nineteenth, twenty seventeen was such a blur. I spent the time leading up to this day saying goodbye to friends, and thanking my parents for how they raised me so I would be ready to live on my own. I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself into, but I knew it was going to be an adventure. I woke up around nine, packed two cars with everything I would be living with for the next year and drove two hours from Lehi to Logan. My mom wasn't able to come with me that day, but my dad and little sister (also known as my best friend) were there helping me get moved in. They stayed for about four hours. We went to eat, unpacked, set up my room, went shopping, and then said our goodbyes. Tears strolled down my face as I embraced my family and watched them drive away. That was it. "I am on my own now" I thought. I walked back into the chaotic apartment with a bunch of strangers who I was supposed to live with for the next year. I went to my room and just cried trying to take it all in. This was my new reality and I had to be okay with that. Moving up a week before school started was really helpful.
       The first couple of weeks were really hard. I didn't have friends and I didn't know what my purpose as a student at Utah State was. At home I had so many friends and felt like I was making a difference, so the change of knowing everyone to knowing no one was something I struggled with. Even though I was having a hard time adjusting to my new life, I was trying my best to live in the moment and have fun! My roommates and I would watch a movie almost every night and we would stay up until about 2 in the morning. We went to a lot of the activities like the 80's dance, football tailgates, true aggie night, and more. People always told me that college was the best years of their life and I wanted to experience that, but so far that's not what it was looking like for me. It wasn't until about the fourth week of school that I met room 104. This room is full of kind, happy, fun girls who were so welcoming and became my instant friends. I go over to their apartment all of the time, and am able to have college adventures with them. A few of those include spontaneous trips to bear lake, cleaning the sink at angies, hot tubbing in ogden, temple visits, and dancing till we drop. I am grateful to have friends like them.
      School is hard and when I began classes I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it all. I began to feel overwhelmed and scared for the future, but then something changed. In the summer I was able to do humanitarian work in Ghana. It was such an incredible experience and I made some very good friends. There is a boy I still talk to named Musah. He is my age and is working so hard to go to college. Whenever he messages me he asks me how my studies are going. It is hard to reply and tell him that school is great when I know that he doesn't get the opportunity to attend. This has really made an impact on me and made me realize how lucky I am to be at college. I'm grateful for the professors who have so much knowledge and experience for me to benefit from. Musah would do anything to attend college, so I want to focus on not taking what I have for granted. I don't just want to breeze through college, but I really want to make a difference while I'm here. Something else that has taught me to take advantage of my opportunity here is my major. One day I am going to be a special education teacher. Thinking of how wonderful those kids are makes me want to do my best. I want them to have a teacher who knows what she's doing and is qualified to teach them. The only way to accomplish that is focusing and working hard with the tasks I am given. College is an incredible opportunity and I am so lucky to be here. The change I have seen in myself is my attitude about school. It didn't or isn't going to get any easier, but my attitude is much more optimistic and eager.
     I have learned many things since I moved out. These things are a reason I am changing. I have learned how to cook, clean, manage time, exercise, have spontaneous fun, and live with multiple personalities. The longer I have been in college, the more I enjoy it. I enjoy cleaning my "own home", cooking nice meals, and taking advantage of my education. The first few weeks of college people would ask me how I was liking it and I would reply "it's a really big change that I am just trying to get used to." But lately when people ask me I reply "I love it! It is so much fun staying out late and living on my own. College has been really good for me." There are still days that are hard, but I am so grateful for this opportunity I have to be a college student and participate in a level of higher education. I am changing. I am becoming different. I am becoming better.

Rhetorical Notes:
   This blog is written for anyone who is interested in reading it. When I first started my blog there was a group of girls in my neighborhood who would read my posts. They also had blogs so we would all read each others. Ultimately though the main audience is my future self. Especially with this post because I want to remember the beginning of my freshman year of college and the experiences I had. Recording thoughts and feelings is an important skill to have. It unwinds my brain and helps me feel excited for things to come.
    A blog is a place to share a piece of your mind. There are many different roads you can take with a blog. There are food blogs, fashion blogs, blogs to tell stories and just write, etc. This genre is better than a personal essay because you have more freedom to flow your thoughts about any subject. A personal essay is more about events in your life whereas a blog has many different avenues to take. This post includes pathos as I talk about leaving my family. The emotional connection should be felt as I talk about crying because I am not ready for this change in my life! I provide ethos in the paragraph about education. My comments of enjoying school and being grateful for this opportunity I have been given creates strong ethics. Logos is in the underlying message of understanding that college is hard. It is a new dynamic, but it is something that will really stretch me and help me grow which is logical and many people have experienced at some time.
   

Face Lift

I haven't searched my blog in a very long time. When I was given the option to write a blog post for a college assignment I thought why not? I already have a blog, and that would be a good way for me to express my feelings of school. But before I write that post, I want to explain how my life has gone. Since my last entry in 2013 (four years ago) I have gained two sisters, had two jobs, opened a school as student body president, graduated from high school, and started college. This blog is transforming into a word network. I want to write and remember my thoughts and actions. So here is to a better blog and a better me.

California Lover

What do you do in California besides Disney Land were my first thoughts.  But after spending a week there, and living it up at the beach, sea world, old town, and visiting the beautiful temple, I became a California Lover!  It was so fun spending time with my wonderful family, especially playing some intense rounds of hand and foot :)  I'm so happy that I was able to have an amazing vacation.  Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for making it happen! <3

Let it Begin!

Summer.  Oh how I love you!  It hasn't even been a month and I have done so many fun things already!  Here is a glimpse of the fun things you allow me to do.  Love these girls!

Fresh Start

Here I go, into 9th grade year.  Little freshie I will be!  Ah that's so crazy to me.  Just yesterday I was singing songs and having teddy bear pick-nicks in preschool!   Where has the time gone?  This is the time school  starts to count.  It always has counted, but this is actually on my record!  Pretty nerve racking right?  It's a really good thing that I have summer to enjoy before high school.  Here we go, a fresh start in what will count for the rest of my life.  Let it begin!  Meanwhile, look who's back!!  So glad to be with him again :) 

None Were With Him

I know that Easter has already come and gone, but we can always remember the sacrifice of our savior.  I am so grateful for the atonement in my life.  I have that blessing of knowing that I'm never alone.  My savior is always with me feeling what I feel. My favorite part of this video is when he says that Jesus never touched any unclean thing, but he needed to go through terrible times to be able to suffer for all of the unclean things we will touch. I hope we will always remember the atonement in our lives and be able to feel his love for us.

Influence beyond words.

People in your life influence you beyond words. Siblings, Parents, Grandparents, friends.  I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life that influence me for the better.

 thanks for all that you do love you all ( even if I don't have a picture of you on the blog:) )